Why Writing is easy and Publishing is Hard
I love writing. I do it every day for multiple hours. Writing for work, writing notes for myself, writing essays for myself.
But when it comes to publishing, I'm slow. I know I'm slowly dying and I'm missing out on so many things when it comes to writing: The friends I could make, the money I could make, the love I could get from people paying attention.
And yet I don't do it. There's a weird mechanic that's keeping me stuck. It makes me afraid of publishing. There's a perpetual feeling of my writing not being good enough, my articles being too obvious, too incomplete, too bold, too timid, too long, too short, too general, too specific.
That's even though I often get stellar feedback on my writing and see articles shared by people even months later. They're clearly getting value from what I published.
Yet, I recently don't feel ready to publish what I write. Now, I know imposter syndrome can be a good thing. It shows you that you care about creating quality and that you're probably further along on the Dunning-Kruger graph than the people who think they're the best, but suck.
But when it holds you back from publishing something, imposter syndrome is nasty. And why does it hold us back?
One reason, at least for me, is emotional. We reject imposter syndrome because it feels bad. It diminishes our self-esteem and is rooted in deep discomfort.
There's a saying in Buddhism: What you resist, will persist.
Resisting and rejecting imposter syndrome doesn't help. When we reject it and tell ourselves we shouldn't feel this way and find some excuse to not create, we've lost the battle.
Sure, doing something else and telling yourself you'll get to it later (spoiler: you won't) feels better in the moment, but it cripples your creativity. In the back of your mind, you'll know.
Instead of running from the emotion, we have to first accept it. We don't have to agree with it. But you have to accept that it's there first. Then you can take the next step.
I like the RAIN framework: Recognize, Accept, Investigate, Nurture.
If you're reading this, you've done the first step: You recognize imposter syndrome for what it is.
Accepting is harder:
You have to realize what imposter syndrome actually is. This could include physical sensations (Pressure in your stomach? Pain in your head?), emotions (fear, shame, guilt...) and literal thoughts ("If I publish this, she'll think I'm pretentious...").
You have to find all of these dimensions and see eye to eye with them. Then you can accept. Even if you don't believe it—tell yourself "I accept imposter syndrome" and watch the change in your emotional state. For me, it works every time.
I think it works because it turns all of these facets into an "object" called imposter syndrome and lets us stop identifying with it. When our mind is on autopilot, we accept any thought, feeling or sensation as being us. When we consciously do this work, we can see that they're not us.
More importantly, we can look at it without judgment. There's tremendous power in that—because we can now take the next step: Investigate.
This might sound complex, but it's simple. There's a Zen Koān in which Zen master Hakuin responds to everything with the question: Is that so?
This is a good guide—think about the thoughts that hold you back and ask: Is that so?
This is the simplest step because this is a simple article. But you can go deep in the investigate step—you can figure out which experiences may have ingrained these responses inside you.
By now, you've recognized, accepted and investigated your imposter syndrome. Now it's time to nurture. The term sounds a bit abstract and too much like you'd talk to a child.
The mental model I use is: If your best friend had just told you he's struggling with all of this, how would you respond?
The answer to that question is usually much different than the punishing self-talk we're all so used to.
And then tell yourself that answer. See how you feel. Enjoy the opposite of that impostor syndrome—and then go do great things.
And that's what I'm going to do right now. Because as you were reading this, I was going through the same process. And the only reason you're reading this is because I published this.
If this helped you, whatever you create will help someone else. Go create something.